Online chat and dating have invented a whole vocabulary of their own. This glossary collects the terms you're most likely to run into — from situationship to the ick — with short, plain-English definitions. No jargon, no filler: just what each one means and why it matters.
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Dating stages & ambiguity
Situationship
A romantic or sexual relationship that stays deliberately undefined — more than a friendship, but with no agreed label or commitment.
The talking stage
The early, pre-relationship phase where two people chat and flirt to feel each other out before either commits to dating.
DTR (define the relationship)
The conversation where two people decide, out loud, what they actually are — exclusive, casual, or something else.
Cuffing season
The colder months when people are more inclined to pair up for a steady partner, then often drift apart by spring.
The ick
A sudden, hard-to-explain feeling of turn-off toward someone you were into, often triggered by a small, trivial thing.
Beige flag
A trait that isn't a red or green flag — just oddly boring or quirky enough to make you pause and wonder.
Pulling away & slow rejection
Benching
Keeping someone as a backup option — enough attention to stay on the roster, never enough to actually move forward.
Curving
A soft rejection: politely deflecting someone's romantic interest without ever giving a clear no.
The slow fade
Gradually reducing contact until a relationship quietly dies, instead of ending it directly.
Orbiting
Someone stops talking to you but keeps watching and reacting to your posts — hovering in your online orbit.
Hoovering
When an ex "vacuums" you back in with sudden attention or nostalgia, usually to re-establish contact on their terms.
Future faking
Making big promises about a shared future they have no intention of keeping, to secure your commitment now.
Manipulation & red-flag tactics
Gaslighting
Making someone doubt their own memory or perception so they question what really happened. If a chat leaves you feeling this way, our guide to telling if someone is genuine online can help.
Negging
A backhanded "compliment" designed to lower your confidence and make you seek the other person's approval.
Kitten-fishing
Presenting a slightly misleading version of yourself online — real, but heavily flattering, photos and details.
Micro-cheating
Small acts of emotional or flirtatious investment in someone outside your relationship that stop short of a physical affair.
Weaponized incompetence
Pretending to be bad at a task so someone else takes it over — a quiet way of offloading effort.
Stonewalling
Shutting down and refusing to engage during conflict, leaving the other person talking to a wall.
Gray-rocking
Deliberately becoming as boring and unreactive as a gray rock to make a manipulative person lose interest. See also our green flags to look for instead.
Attachment & connection
Limerence
An intense, involuntary infatuation marked by obsessive thoughts and a craving for the other person to feel the same.
Trauma bond
A powerful attachment formed through cycles of hurt and reconciliation, which can feel like love but is rooted in the cycle itself.
Codependency
A one-sided dynamic where one person's sense of worth depends heavily on being needed by the other.
Compersion
The warm feeling of genuine happiness at a partner's joy or connection with someone else — often called the opposite of jealousy.
Emotional intimacy
The closeness that comes from feeling safe enough to be honest and vulnerable — often easier to reach with a stranger than you'd expect.
Parasocial relationship
A one-sided bond with a creator or public figure who doesn't know you exist — common in the age of streamers and influencers.
Rebound relationship
A new relationship started quickly after a breakup, often to soften the loss rather than for its own sake.
Social battery
Your finite capacity for social interaction before you need to recharge alone — smaller for introverts, larger for extroverts.
Fawn response
A stress reaction of people-pleasing and appeasing to avoid conflict, alongside the better-known fight, flight, and freeze.
Want the real thing instead of the jargon? The fastest way past the talking stage is an actual conversation. Start an anonymous chat →
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the difference between a situationship and the talking stage?
The talking stage comes first — you're feeling each other out. A situationship is further along but still deliberately undefined, often with no plan to define it.
Is benching the same as breadcrumbing?
They overlap. Breadcrumbing is the small, sporadic messages that keep you interested; benching is keeping you as a backup while pursuing other options.
How do I spot these tactics in an online chat?
Trust the pattern, not the single message. Consistency and clarity are green flags; mixed signals, guilt, and confusion are not. Our guide on chatting with strangers safely covers the warning signs.